KNIVES AND CONTROLLED CHAOS

Tammy and I with our knives

 Remember way back when in early Spring when we said goodbye to HRI 107 and that I was to receive a knife for the highest grade point average? Well Tammy and I finally received our knives a few weeks ago. When I opened that box from Chef Emi, my heart did this little pitter patter, and I swear there was this like ethereal light coming from it. I was also scared spitless to use it that first night, so I used my old knife that can't cut a wet noodle. The next night was  our Garde Manger class and I needed a tomato diced for my Southwest Eggroll Station. I knew my old knife was just not up to the task and I took the new Shun knife out. The weight of it, the feel of the handle in my hand, felt like it was an old friend come home. I sliced and diced that tomato in 30 seconds. It was like the angels sang. I have not been afraid of the knife ever since. A few nicks here and there but really haven't lost too much blood yet. 

In the beginning of the semester Chef Emi asked me to speak with her HRI 106 and what the biggest challenges are in the kitchen labs. I expressed to the students how not to be afraid of the equipment, if a pot is too heavy for you to carry, get help, if a the handle on your knife is not comfortable in your hand get a new one. Take control of the equipment, the fryer, the grill and your sauce pan. I had to take my own advice and take control of not only my knife but control of the decisions to be made about jobs, kids, school, what do  in the future with this degree.

Garde Manger has also helped me make the controlled decisions as well, and tonight is our final. We have a mystery box of protein, and what we do with it will be anyone's guess. I am nervous but also know I can do this. A few weeks ago I was struggling along with the decisions and control of my plate presentations, flavor profile and emotions and I am more confident today in my thoughts and decisions with the controlled chaos of my life. I think I will be OK tonight. 

As for those controlled decisions made well: 

1. I am sticking it out with Chef Ellerbe as his Assistant. I figured out I am pretty good at that, and I am really excited in what the future has for Ellerbe Enterprises.

2. I am sticking it out with SAVOR in being the best back up sous chef they have for now. 

3. I am sticking it out with SAVOR as being the best Pastry/Baking chef they have for now.

4. I am finishing this degree in Culinary Arts even though a few weeks ago I was on the point of quitting.

5. I am going to continue being the most supportive mother to my children in their decisions in a career in school, because even though I had wonderful supporting parents who helped me make my decisions, I waited just to long to finally get to this place I am in now because I made the decision to wait. I know if I followed through with Culinary School way back when... well then I wouldn't be here writing this post for a teacher I have come to enjoy and love being in her class and friend in the end as well.

OH! and one more piece of advice to my HRI 106 students. I have the following as a tagline in my signiture for my outgoing emails. I read it every day and I say it to my heart. I know I have made the right controlled decisions in my controlled chaos of a life.

"though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I am free; and if the questions led me here, then I am who I was born to be" and that is me.

I wish my fellow Garde Manger classmates luck tonight, and the HRI 106 students luck in their decisions in the future controlled chaos in the culinary world.